提筆,writing...

many things are happening now

many things are finishing now

I'm in such a confusion, but starting to think seriously...

these few days, Rob is not here. Married to him for a few years, it is the first time I can feel, that he really shared a lot with me. Perhaps, that is the definition of "life partner". Mom will have an small operation, very small one, but I feel the pressure.

Musician Dean complained that why I always write something sad, so I promised him that I am going to write something happy.

But life, is full of sadness...

I've been back to Hong Kong for almost 4 years...

Have done almost 50 interior design projects...and have 2 bars...Many people, even the strangers they have heard of me "are you that JOYCE?"

Which JOYCE?!

I use my special talents to do design, but I have no time to participate in any design compititions.

I use my unique taste to choose movies, but most of them, I have no time to enjoy...

I've met so many brilliant musicians, whether they are successful or struggling now, I really respect their professional skills. I can watch them and listen to them, then forget my exisitence. I believe that I have some connections with music, but I have no time to understand them more...

I want to learn Film making, to learn photography, but I have no time.

I love my mom so much, and my friends, but I have no time to be with them more...

I love traveling, I've only been to 40 countries, so how about the other 80 countries?

I'm getting a bit fat...a couple of wrinkles appeared on my face...but I have no time to go to the GYM or solve such problems that years bring to me...

Yes, I don't have time, But I've never complained really...Last Sat., I was there doing my design drawing, while Dan, Mike & Mia performed...I drew, then stopped for a while to enjoy their gig...I felt that I was in heaven...Doing the things I like, and listening to the best music in the world, I really feel that I have nothing to complain about...

My days, in the last 3 years, have been on Peel Street. In my 650 sqft "joyce Is Not Here", then expanded to the opposite side of the street, "fresco". In between there is Peel Street, up to Caine Rd. and down to Queens Rd. Central.

My days, were in the happiness and sadness of my favorite customers, and friends...They married, they divorced..they had babies, or boyfriends...they broke up..they were sick sometimes...they went on vacation...They came by themselves, or with lovers, ex-lovers...on their first date...or they came with a whole group...They came to get drunk or they came to celebrate their birthdays..they came to read poems, jam, or watch movies...

While I am writing, I have tears falling down my face...so many nice & warm nights, I am here, with you...and sharing with you...

My days, were like this...and I have never complained...

But, life is full of sadness...

許多的事情也在發生

許多的事情也正在完結

我處於一種煩亂中，開始認真的思索。

這幾天，rob不在身邊。結婚幾年，第一次體會原來他真的分擔了很多，也許，這就是伴侶的意義吧。媽媽將快做手術，小小一莊，但我已感到壓力。

音樂家dean投訴我爲何總是寫傷感的話題，我答應他下周一寫份開心的。

但人生，原來是充滿了感傷。

囘港快四年了。

完成了有快50個室内設計的projects了吧。還有兩閒酒吧。很多同行，即陌生人知道我。會說“這就是那個joyce?!"

這就是哪個joyce?

我在靠我的絕佳天分，去做設計，但我沒有時間去參加任何比賽。

我在靠我的小小特別的品位，去挑選電影，但大多數我的珍藏，我卻沒有欣賞過。

我遇到了那麽多美好的優秀的音樂家，無論他們是成功的，還是暫時掙扎的，但我無比尊重他們的專長，我可以望著他們，聼著他們，而忘記的自己的存在，我想，我同音樂是相通的，但是我沒有時間去體會他們。

我想去學導演，去學攝影，我沒有時間。

我那麽愛我的媽媽，我的朋友，但我沒有時間伴隨他們。

我愛旅遊，我才走過40個國家，另外的80個呢？我沒有時間。

我胖了一些，臉上多了兩條皺紋，我沒有時間去健身，去理會這些歲月的痕跡。

我沒有時間。但我沒有抱怨，我從來也沒有真的去抱怨什麽。上星期六，Dan, Mike & Mia 在那兒唱歌，我在那兒畫我室内設計的圖，畫一會，望望他們，再聼一會，那一刻，我覺得自己在天堂。做著自己喜歡的事，聼著世界上最動聽的歌，我真的什麽也不抱怨。

我的日子，在過去的3年來，在卑利街，在我650尺的"joyce is not here"裏，之後擴展到對面，再大一些的“fresco". 中間有一條卑利街，向上通到堅道，下可到皇后大道中。

我的日子，在我愛的人們的喜怒哀樂中，我的客人結婚，離婚，有小孩子，有男朋友，再分手，生病，去度假...一個人來，同情人來，再同舊情人來，第一次約會，或同一大幫人來...來借酒消愁，來慶祝生日，來讀詩，來看電影...我寫著寫著，在流眼淚，那麽多感人的夜晚，我都在這裡，同你們分享。

我的日子，就是這麽流逝著。

我沒有任何的抱怨，儘管人生是充滿了感傷。